Success Strategies That Work

Success Strategies That Work may be read with curiosity or skepticism. We are inundated with a tsunami of information daily, disseminated in print, radio, television, internet, social media all offering tips and techniques. Some are truly simple and brilliant others regretfully are not worth the investment of any of our precious lifetime. How do we sort through this haystack? Two things to keep in mind are the source and the simplicity.

A great simple strategy for success in personal life or business (one of my favorites) is to work on the capacity to distinguish reacting from responding. Heaven know I have worked on this one. As a coach and consultant and human being on the planet who interacts with others it is an invaluable distinction. My promise is that anyone works on this area their lives will improve personally and professionally.

So what the heck is this about?

Consider reaction first. Reacting is normal. It is healthy. Primal and instinctual it has had us be one of the 3% of the species that has been able to avoid extinction. Good stuff, eh. Well it is fabulous if a ball is coming at us or we see a child run into the street and a car coming and do the dash and grab. Excellent that we take immediate action in these situations. A ‘no brainer’.

Now consider responding. Responding involves discernment, raised awareness and thought. It is not as immediate. Although after cultivating the ability to respond it can seem immediate.

Presuming that I am not the only one on the planet who has been at the other end of an unpleasant perhaps even cruel comment, or the only one that someone has raised their voice at, or the solo gal on the planet who has heard someone express an opinion that offended me on almost every level. There was a time where I would react perhaps emotionally, raise my voice or make someone wrong. Yet having really worked on my ability to respond, to pause and think rather than react has altered those interactions completely. By responding, there is the opportunity for a conversation not a confrontation. Often I find myself curious. I may ask “what had you say that?” or “ you seem really passionate about your view tell me more about ...” or “ What you said is not okay with me” and this is all in a neutral tone. As coaches we call this charge neutral.

It is so interesting there may be certain people or topics that we find ourselves reacting versus responding to and when we recognize this and actually turn it around, the freedom and power is incredible. When I was single and my mother would ask me about dating I would react! If my friends asked me about dating I would respond. When I started responding to my mother it really made a huge difference in our relationship, I grew up.

Responding involves maturity and awareness. Reacting is great and important for our safety and survival. Responding is our individual measure of growth, development and personal progress.

Experiment with it this week. What the heck? What do you have to gain?